Inventing Alice And Wonderland
“Scene iv
(The party gets into a rowboat. The three girls sit in the back and Alice holds the tiller, Mr. Duckworth sits facing them in the next seat with one set of oars, and Mr. Dodgson sits in the seat, behind him, holding another set of oars. They push off from the bank.)
ROBINSON DUCKWORTH
Alright now, Charles, you must synchronize your strokes with mine. Can you do that?
CHARLES DODGSON
I will try.
ROBINSON DUCKWORTH
Good. And Alice, you are responsible for steering us so that we don’t bump into the embankments of the stream.
ALICE LIDDELL
I know.
LORINA LIDDELL
It is getting quite warm, I think.
CHARLES DODGSON
Lorina, just put your hand in the water and let it sit there a bit. It will cool you off.
EDITH LIDDELL
How long will it take to get us to get to where we shall have lunch?
Robinson Duckworth
(To Charles)
I told you they would get restless.
Charles Dodgson
Edith, it will only take us an hour or so. We’ll lunch near Godstow. Let’s play a game. How many cows can we find? The first one to twenty wins.
(The girls use their hands as a visor and look intently)
LORINA LIDDELL
I see seven over there.
EDITH LIDDELL
That is not fair, I saw them too.
CHARLES DODGSON
Well, you both get credit.
ALICE LIDDELL
I see three coming out from behind the barn.
CHARLES DODGSON
Indeed, so.
LORINA LIDDELL
Can we row?
ROBINSON DUCKWORTH
Oh, it is much too difficult. One has to get into a rhythm, and pull the oars together. Going upstream the current is fighting against one the whole time. You would not last a minute at it.
Charles Dodgson
Maybe the girls could try it on the way back, when we are going down stream.
EDITH LIDDELL
Oh, could we?
ROBINSON DUCKWORH
Yes, that might be possible. We could try it on the way home, if you are not too tired by then.
ALICE LIDDELL
Oh... I think I just saw a bunny... over there.
(She points)
ROBINSON DUCKWORTH
(Looks)
I can’t see it. He must have just got down his rabbit hole.
ALICE LIDDELL
He was brown with a white tail.
ROBINSON DUCKWORTH
He may have been afraid of the puppy in that hiking party over there.
CHARLES DODGSON
Yes, that could be it.
ALICE LIDDELL
Could you make up a story about it? It would pass the time.
EDITH LIDDELL
Oh Yes!
CHARLES DODGSON
Well, I am not sure what kind of story to tell...
LORINA LIDDELL
Oh, just begin it!
ALICE LIDDELL
And be sure there is nonsense in it!
ROBINSON DUCKWORTH
Please do come up with something Charles... or this will be a very long voyage.
CHARLES DODGSON
Let’s see... It was a very warm day, like today, and a little girl named Alice was beginning to feel drowsy, when she saw a white rabbit with pink eyes run past her and stop. She heard the rabbit say to itself “Dear! Oh dear! I shall be late”.
EDITH LIDDELL
Rabbits can’t talk!
CHARLES DODGSON
Well, this is an imaginary rabbit and he could talk. But that was not even the most extraordinary thing.
EDITH LIDDELL
What wasn’t?
CHARLES DODGSON
That he could talk.
EDITH LIDDELL
Oh!
CHARLES DODGSON
No. What was the most extraordinary thing was that he was wearing a waistcoat and he took a pocket watch out of his pocket and looked at it.
EDITH LIDDELL
Oh!
ALICE LIDDELL
That is the nonsense in it, Edith. See?
(Edith nods her head)
LORINA LIDDELL
Go on Mr. Dodgson!
CHARLES DODGSON
Well, when Alice heard what the rabbit said and saw him pull a pocket watch out of his gray waistcoat, it flashed across her mind that she had never seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat or a watch. She became very curious about this strange rabbit, and when he ran off, she got up and chased after him. And, just like the rabbit that our Alice saw in the field, when it got to some hedges, it disappeared down a rabbit hole. Well, Alice was not to be defeated, and she went down the rabbit hole after it, without a thought about how she was to get out.
EDITH LIDDELL
Alice couldn’t go down a rabbit hole, she would be too big!
CHARLES DODGSON
But this was an imaginary Alice, and she could go down the rabbit hole.
EDITH LIDDELL
Oh.
CHARLES DODGSON
And she found herself falling... falling...falling down the rabbit hole. It was like she was falling down a very, very deep well. She worried that she would fall all the way to the other side of the earth where people stand on their heads all the time. She tumbled past cupboards with things like marmalade on the shelves
EDITH LIDDELL
I am getting hungry.
ROBINSON DUCKWORTH
It is not time for lunch, we still have a way to go.
CHARLES DODGSON
And she fell down past bookshelves, and thought about taking one of the books, but she did not know to whom they belonged, and there was no one to ask permission of. Alice calculated that she must be getting somewhere near the center of the earth, and thought she would never be afraid of falling down the stairs again after this. Alice thought of her cat Dinah, and that she would miss her. She hoped that somebody would put out a saucer of milk for her at teatime. She wished that Dinah was with her, but thought that she had seen no mice for Dinah in the air, but she might catch a bat, and that’s like a mouse. Then she wondered if cats ate bats, because bats look very like mice, but have wings. She kept asking herself the question “Do cats eat bats?”, but sometimes it would become “Do bats eat cats”.
EDITH LIDDELL
Do cats eat bats?
LORINA LIDDELL
No, they don’t!
CHARLES DODGSON
Since Alice could not answer the question, she began to dream of herself walking hand in hand with Dinah, and asking her “Now, Dinah, my dear, tell me the truth. Did you ever eat a bat?” When suddenly bump! bump! she landed upon a heap of sticks and shavings and the fall was over.
EDITH LIDDELL
Was she hurt?
CHARLES DODGSON
Not a bit! She saw the white rabbit but he scurried off again, and he turned a corner and disappeared. Alice followed him and found herself in a long corridor with many doors, and with lamps hanging down from the ceiling. The White Rabbit was hurrying down the corridor muttering “my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting!” He turned another corner and disappeared again.